Eaten Apples

2010-10-25T20:06:00.004-05:00

after our exchanges yesterday, i thought today would be the day i'd get to see you again. i've never felt lovesick before. i convinced myself not to go to your house last night and bang on your door till you kissed me. you need space and i can't trust my instincts anymore. i'm trying to be cool and everything tells me i love you. a consoling friend said to me that this will make good song fodder. i don't want to write songs. i want to wash your back. and for you to wash mine. and to see that pulsing circle again.

solid tude

2010-02-05T14:56:00.003-05:00

my new age friends put crystals in their asses when they masturbate.
there are horses in a stable across the street.
in a multi-panelled mirror
with gold-emblazed floral brackets separating squares,
long-billed fish curled into the corner
they rub their slime on the wall
and ruby eggs slide through their docile mouths.

the water outside is covered.
the last of the snow is gathered at it's entrance.
under the tarp, a stolid punch of wetness. air for the bacteria party.
dead eyes for no remember food.

in an unnamed ritual we invoke our desperation plea
that leaves our wretches on the cherry tree
oh lustful in and as the sap.
every place a church of something

regarding the record

2009-03-28T02:39:00.006-05:00

it's not sarcastic, it's based in sincere sentiment
it speaks of the accumulation and paradox of gross ambiguities.
in the narcoleptic search for uncut vessels
through which to propel ourselves,
we sigh to the goneaway destination of a clearer time

live from the spectacle: Cartoon Incest

2009-03-28T02:36:00.003-05:00

how did we get here?

cartoon incest

The Importance of Being Earnest, a gchat with ryan

2009-03-24T00:29:00.006-05:00

me: we just need one, semi well off, reasonably sized country to love us madly

Ryan: like Uganda

that would be scary
me: or mozambique

i like that name

mozambique

it flows nicely

Ryan: can you imagine if we got supported by an evil regime?

me: yeah, invoked as the sardonic posterboys of capitalist depravity

a reason to move to fascism

gimme money

Ryan: and then students rebel against us
me: oh man

fuck education

everyone needs a boss

bigger the boss the better your life

suits for everyone though

we're the antirevolution
Ryan: love it

i'll make some posters tomorrow

coffee mugs, stationery

a post-penis world

2009-03-23T11:25:00.007-05:00

Parthenogenesis (growth and development of an embryo or seed without fertilization by a male) occurs in some fishes, several kinds of insects, and a few species of frogs and lizards. Then there was Kyuga, the fatherless mouse.
Do the math: Lesbian/post-sexual space colony!

"Wichita, KS - Sedgwick County Zoo has become the first zoo in the Americas to document that Komodo dragons are capable of parthenogenesis (reproduction without the contribution of a male). One Komodo dragon entered the world on January 31 and a second hatched on February 1, 2008 thanks to this type of asexual reproduction."

and now back to genesis p-orridge with today's weather:

purportapus

2009-03-23T00:19:00.003-05:00

purportapus (n): sea mammalian incarnation of unsophisticated intention's tendency towards folly

casual sex

2009-03-23T00:11:00.002-05:00

ended
with blood on the hand
throwaway sheets
misanthropic willies

fuck friends
of friends
and you see them again

strangeness is much better
with strangers

Remembering

2009-02-16T00:57:00.004-05:00

As a child, I was not blanketed with the comfort of the simplest socializing illusion, a belief in some God replete with existential purpose and explanation. When I closed my eyes at night, my conversations were with myself. I weighed my thoughts in human court. And on the night when I uncovered, or was capable of confronting, the question of mortality, and asked what my conscious being would become, my subconscious revealed the the punchline blank.

2/14/09

2009-02-16T00:49:00.009-05:00

A. George Bush was a much-needed leader for the future history book of our world (which you should not read). He understood the importance of listening to his gut (more human people would call this a heart) and the universe deemed him the instrument of necessarily egregious and retarded antagonism. His gratuitous, unabashed, flagrance served to pick fields of seeds of anarchy from neon slumber. Even in his wake, the vicious chain of consequence to his conservative cowardice cures the narcoleptic changers of a new generation. Do not turn around.
a) Obama is smiling frightening. gimme Kucinich.
B. I want to tour with the Jonas brothers; the more eyes, the better. I didn’t start a band to be in a basement making recordings to blow my head off to. Fuck that miserable, pitiful bullshit. We need piles of money to afford ourselves the surrealist joke of a life that every good boy and girl deserves. That’s my American dream; to buy my parents taxidermied polar bears for Christmas.
C. If we vibrate the strings of connectivity and push consciousness, and our capacity for confronting the most psychically painful and frightening constructs of our personal realities, we will feel alive again. We must exorcise our fear, exorcise our shame, exorcise the voices that stifle the trumpets of our own glory and folly; harness the seesaw of confident uncertainty. We must grant ourselves the freedom to embrace the levity of a smiling surrender to the propulsive whims of our own sincere humanity.
D. All particles exist eternally. Nothing is our own. Every thing and un thing is forever a beginning and ending. Ourosboros. The end of the journey brings the beginning back. Questions propel the universe.
E. The laboratory of modern invention reels with the looming beauty of desperation and imminent chaos. Go to midtown, feel the buildings getting smaller and grant yourself the thought that if you really tried, you could lift and topple one with your bare hands.
F. Art lives in the vindication of pain. And all elitists, revivalists, hobnobbing culture snobs, misguided tools of industry, and Alasholes are being mouth-raped by the Spectacle’s slimy cock. Wear your loneliness on your skin and see it tan. Feel warm.
G. _ _ _ _ _ _ ____ ____ - - _ _ _ _ _
H. we all wanna fuck anna karina

I. Remember the week they cured AIDS? Oh yeah! That was this week.
http://www.nytimes.com/2008/11/14/health/14hiv.html